What Ever Happened to Common Courtesy?

Now when I read/heard about e-mail free Fridays last week, I thought to myself 'Sh!t, what a ridiculous idea." But then thinking about the reasons that employers were thinking of implementing it, I found myself in an unusual situation for me, actually agreeing with the establishment. I started to see the correlation between the increasing use of e-mail and to a lesser extent faxes and the decline I have noticed for years in phone manners.

I'm by no means some sort of crusader for manners or against electronic communications, and perhaps there is no link whatsoever. But in the too many years I have had to use the phone as a large portion of my job, I have notice a drastic drop off in simple etiquette. When did it become acceptable to reply to a greeting with "Who is this?" or the slightly less rude, "So and so please"? Or simply launch into a diatribe without introducing yourself?

I do realize that in my position in a support department that people aren't always going to be in the best of moods when they call. Hey, they wouldn't be calling me if they didn't have something they needed. I get that, I do. But why does that give people the license to be as rude as possible? Is is so hard to say " Hi I'm blah-blah and I'm calling from such and such, I was wondering if you could help me." or something like that?

Perhaps there is something to the theory that e-mail is contributing to loosing some of the social skills developed in the 20th century. I wouldn't go so far as to blame it completely, I think the 'I'm so special' attitude is much more to blame. (You know the attitude I'm talking about, it is the one that allows people to talk no responsibility for anything they do, anything that goes wrong is obviously someone else's fault because someone so special couldn't possibly be in the wrong.) But that's an argument for another time. I have notice that as e-mail has become more prevalent phone manners have declined almost in step.

People say things in ways on e-mails that they would rarely have done via phone or face to face in years past. That freedom of not having to have personal contact while you insult someone seems to be flowing through to the phone. Why people feel that rudeness and insults is acceptable in an e-mail is another matter, but what is triggering the disappearance of just basic courtesy on the phone or to a lesser extent in person.

I know I'm just one man, with little or no influence on where society is going, but ask yourself this. How would I like to be spoken to? With respect or contempt? Respect or at least politeness right? That's what I thought. So, next time you need to call a business, no matter what is happening on your end, remember, a little decency goes along away. The person at the other end of the line may be someone who only answers the phone, or someone that can help you, but either way, they are just doing their job. There is never a good excuse for belittling them or being rude to start a conversation. And who knows, you may find that you people are more willing to be helpful and polite back when you don't start a conversation with rudeness.

Or maybe it's just me.